I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just blew my weed a kiss
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
