she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
