so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
