Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
