Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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