She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
