something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
