ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
