what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
