Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
