As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
