shes about as inviting as chlamydia
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
