I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
