I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
