im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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