i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
