You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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