Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
