I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
