The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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