Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
