Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
