Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
