Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
sex in a hospital.. check
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
