Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
