last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
