Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
