Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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