giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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