What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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