I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
