we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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