I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
