So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize