I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
