Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
