i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
