Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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