six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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