We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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