i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
