Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
