Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
