the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
