franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
