His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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