Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do vagina's smell?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize