absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
