He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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