Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
