Having a random hookup so left but love u
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
