Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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