Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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