I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
