i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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