Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
