I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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