At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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