I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
