I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
